


pipes

by nebulaprincess (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nebulaprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bucky's experiencing a little trouble with his pipes and Steve's the hot plumber hired to sort out the problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pipes

Bucky allowed the water to pour over his face, short spurts hitting his skin like tiny warm bullets. He turned and wiped his unkempt hair back, the shower spray smoothing it out. The shower was one of the only places where he was at peace – the hot water relaxed his tense muscles, the steam clouded the world around him and the soft noise of the radio and the hammering of the water on the tiles drowned out any other sounds.

Then his hair turned green.

Something, he didn't know what, suddenly poured out of the shower, the exact same colour as fresh grass, but with a sickening slimy texture. A huge glob of it landed on Bucky's hair, making him let out an oddly high-pitched yelp and start clawing at his head to get it out. It landed at the bottom of the shower with a plop, slithering down the drain. Small amounts of the green substance continued to drip out of the shower head, even when Bucky turned off the shower and ran out, wrapping a towel around his waist.

It happened again, later that day. At around half past two, Bucky had been washing the dishes, when suddenly the same green sludge had erupted from the tap.

"Jesus Christ!" Bucky yelled, turning it off immediately, despite the fact that it continued to drip – and then it exploded again.

This time it was much more violent. The slime was filling the sink rapidly, bouncing off the dishes and spraying all over the kitchen – on the walls, the floors, the worktop, on Bucky...he swore under his breath as he made a futile attempt to stop the mess. Frantically twisting the knob on the sink, he somehow managed to break it off. He ran his hands through his hair, almost in tears – all he could do now was wait for the flood to die down.

* * *

 

_Beep. Beep._

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Who's this?"

"Uh...I'm Steve. You called the agency, something about a flood of nuclear waste from your sink? Well, obviously not nuclear waste, but...whatever. You know what I mean."

Bucky gave a small laugh. This "Steve" sounded cute. "Sure. I'll let you in."

He walked away from the intercom and dressed as quickly as he could into fresh clothes, and within a few seconds there was a buzz on his door. Throwing on a t-shirt and making sure he looked alright, he almost ran to the door and pulled it open.

Steve didn't look human. He literally looked as though he had been designed in a lab – like the poster boy for the Aryan dream. It wasn't even normal how attractive he was; he had gelled back blonde hair, gorgeous chiselled features and the bluest eyes Bucky had ever seen on a human. When Steve reached out to shake Bucky's hand, he couldn't help but notice the bulging muscles in his toned arms.

"So, there's something about slime exploding from the taps?" Steve asked.

"And the shower," the other man added, not taking his eyes off of Steve's model-like face.

"Okey dokey." Steve put his hands together. "I'll see what I can do. Where's your kitchen?"

"Just in here." Bucky led him through the flat and into the small, dingy kitchen. "The sink's just there. Listen, man, thanks so much for this - can I get you coffee? A beer? Water?"

"Just water, thanks," Steve smirked. "Preferably not from the tap."

Bucky laughed. "Don't worry. I have some bottled in the fridge."

He poured some water from a large bottle into a glass and made himself a mug of coffee. Once he returned, he saw the plumber fiddling with the tap, trying to turn it on, when all of a sudden a huge spurt of "nuclear waste" came spewing out of it, all over Steve's shirt.

"Oh," he laughed a little, once it had stopped. "I see your problem there."

Bucky seized the opportunity within a heartbeat. "Oh, dear," he tutted. "It's all dirty - why don't you put that in the basket over there, and I'll get you a new one?"

Before Steve had the chance to reply, Bucky dashed out of the door and into his room to get out the largest shirt he had - the only one which would fit on Steve's insanely muscular torso. He had to take a moment to bite down on his fist and stop himself from shrieking at the prospect of seeing Steve half-naked. And lo and behold, once he had returned to the kitchen, there was the plumber completely bare from the waist up, elbow propped up against the worktop, gazing idly out of the window.

 _That can't even be a six-pack,_ Bucky thought. _That's an eight-pack at least. Jesus. And the V-line...it's literally a perfect V..._

He silently prayed that Steve wouldn't notice his shaking and open mouth when he came to take the shirt, and felt his knees go weak as the plumber slipped it over his head. As if it couldn't get any worse, Steve got down on all fours and peered into the pipes under the sink - presenting Bucky with the most perfect view of his rather beautiful rear end.

"It's hard to find what exactly's going on," came Steve's voice from under the sink.

"Just keep looking," Bucky murmured with a little smile, sipping his coffee and not reverting his gaze once.

* * *

 

"Tell me, Steve, have you ever done modelling?"

"Uh...no?"

"That's funny. I could have sworn I saw you on a Hollister bag."

An hour had passed, and Steve and Bucky had continued to exchange small talk every now and then, which, at times, seemed to be borderline flirting. Bucky had not yet become tired of his perfect view of Steve's butt writhing slowly as he scrambled around the pipes.

"Well, there's your problem fixed." Steve crawled back from under the sink, holding a bucket full of the green sludge. "Looks like this is an accumulation of all the food waste piled up in the pipes. You might want to try and avoid putting food down the sink. There are trashcans for a reason."

"Ah," Bucky muttered, slightly peeved at losing his perfect view. "I'll do just that."

"Well, it was nice helping you," Steve grinned, giving Bucky a friendly pat on the back. "See you again, yeah? Well, hopefully not. Since it won't be good if your pipes get clogged again."

Bucky chuckled nervously. "Yeah. I guess."

He handed Steve some cash and showed him out of the apartment. Once he was certain that he had left, he took five sheets of paper towel, drenched them in water, and shoved them down the plug hole.


End file.
